You’re Never Too Old For Toys, Especially In the Bedroom
With the passing of the cold and drizzly winter months, and warmer days ahead, many of us have little-to-no excuses for not bringing the joys of the spring and summer months into our lives. This may entail many things like picking up a new outdoor hobby, meeting new people, traveling more, or perhaps something industrious—like starting a vegetable garden.
The coming months also seem to find their own ways of presenting great opportunities to work on your relationship. Couples are more inclined to workout together, take weekend beach trips, camp, have picnics, and attend outdoor gatherings in the spring and summer. All of these things have the potential to bring couples closer together, which, in turn, leads to more intimacy. With that, there’s always room for new twists and turns in the bedroom. There are plenty of fun and sensual things that both new and older couples can do and/or use when it’s time for the heavy petting and panting. But before we enter the privacy of your bedroom, I’d like to share a story.
A few years ago, I moved to Minneapolis for work. After only a few days of being settled into my new neighborhood, I befriended a newlywed couple that lived a few doors down from me. Like myself, they were both wine enthusiasts, so, occasionally, the three of us would have a “wine kickback,” where we’d hangout on one of our back patios and share new, exciting wines with each other. During one of our many candid conversations, I learned that ever since they began dating, the husband had always been vehemently opposed to his wife’s sex toys—specifically, her vibrator. It wasn’t that he felt threatened or jealous of it. It was just that he thought it was an unnecessary tool for a woman in a monogamous, sexually fulfilling relationship to own.
Several months after I was made privy to this information, the husband was involved in a freak accident that involved his hand involuntarily punching through the glass paneling on a door that he and one of his friends were installing. As a result, he sliced four tendons in his right hand and required two surgeries to reconnect all of them. His rehabilitation consisted of a year of frequent visits to an occupational hand therapist, where, during one session, it was suggested that he massage his hand daily for 15 minutes, with one of those Philips Sonicare electric toothbrushes. This, his therapist told him, would help “wake up the neurons” in his hand and get his sensitivity back to normal. It suddenly occurred to him that he didn’t own an electric toothbrush, but his wife owned something even better—a vibrator. For the next three months, her sex toy became his new best friend. Now, he has a new appreciation for vibrators and actually encourages his wife to use it both by herself and with him.
If you’re one of those people that have been totally against introducing sex toys like vibrators into your love life, it might be helpful to know that vibrator technology has developed in leaps and bounds recently, according to Adam & Eve. Vibrators have also lost some of the social stigma that they once had.
In its May issue, the fairly conservative women’s magazine, Good Housekeeping, ran a survey in which 100 women between the ages of 30 and 80 tested different vibrators for their effectiveness. The article came as quite the shock to some, while others like Fay Schopen of The Guardian called the article brilliant. “The more women of any age who are in control of their own orgasm the better,” she wrote. Ultimately, this kind of open dialogue about sex toys will encourage more couples not to treat this topic as taboo or feel like sexual deviants.
There’s nothing wrong with exploring the boundaries of your private sexuality, even if it does require a little help from a sex toy. When you were a child you thought of toys as a fun objects. As an adult, you should still be able to do the same.